Incoherence

"Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative" - Oscar Wilde

I wish I had the gift of the gab. Although it is important to accept the personal attributes that make us unique individuals, there is a lot I would trade to become a virtuoso in the art of conversation.

Although one can spend a lot of time crafting well thought out sentences in written form, a conversation calls for the ability to think quickly and effectively on the spot. I have wondered for a while about the factors that might affect one's ability to execute this critical skill of life. Herein follows a little analysis of what many of us do so naturally without much thought.

The quality of my performance in conversation varies greatly depending on whom I talk to, the topics of conversation, my mood, the general atmosphere in which the conversation takes place, and the importance of the outcomes of the conversation.

I perform better when I talk about a topic that interests me. I perform better when I have endorphins cursing through my system after a workout. I perform better when I am indulging in food I do not consider as healthy. I perform better after I read an intellectually stimulating article from the New York Times. I perform better on a Friday afternoon when there are many exciting things to look forward to. I perform better when I talk to those that know me pretty well. I perform better when a goal of the conversation is to impress. I perform better when the stakes are high.

I think we all have a baseline ability, above which performance depends on conscious effort and external factors. For some, including myself, this baseline is well below what we wish it to be. This explains why sometimes I surprise myself by eloquently holding intellectual conversations, yet other times, I feel like an idiot.

Over a course of a day, I am often involved in little exchanges of words with others during which I am disappointed with either what I say or how I say what I say. Memory recall issues, not finding the right words for a sentence, losing track of what is being said, and simply not knowing what to say next are common causes of a conversation headed nowhere. Rarely do I thread words together in a way that makes me proud. It can be a stressful exercise, to have to filter and refine what is to be said, and after saying it, assess how it was said. That is why silence is so appealing sometimes. But, a mute bystander runs into the risk of appearing arrogant, aloof, timid or socially incompetent.

I think the best we can do is to accept our current abilities while being aware of the factors that affect them. Striving to be better may seem like a good mindset to have, but from experience, setting high expectations for such a mundane activity can result in repeated disappointment.

Reading what I've written so far, I just let out a sigh. Why care so much? We should loosen up a bit. After all, the main goal of conversation is to communicate ideas, if not just to talk for the sake of talking. We all have unique ways of doing this by flavoring the verbalization of our thoughts with personalized verbal placeholders, imagery, and speech devices, and adding our versions of humor, stories and facts. Plus, who wants to talk to someone that sounds like s/he is reading from a script? Imperfect speech is more natural and nicer on the ears.

There is no denying that the skill of conversing effectively is important, in both personal and professional contexts. However, it may be more important to challenge ourselves to be comfortable in our own skin in light of our limitations.

Relax, smile, and enjoy the moment.

Medical Robotics

Last weekend, I attended a conference entitled 'Stanford Medical Innovation Conference on Medical Robotics'. Fueled and invigorated after a free morning bagel and coffee (report time was 8:30am on a Saturday morning), I put my networking hat on and resolved to make the most of this day-long event.

The keynote address was given by Dr. Frederic Moll, founder and CEO of Intuitive Surgical. He effectively summarized the role of robotics in improving the field of medicine. Opening up a host of possibilities, medical robotics has the potential to make surgical procedures faster and easier.

A problem in medicine today is the chasm that separates good surgeons from average surgeons. Robotics introduces a high degree of standardization across the spectra of surgeon skill and experience, which will help level the playing field and enhance predictability.

Robotics enables greater precision. Accuray's 'Cyberknife' is a radiosurgery system that allows radiation to be delivered to cancerous cells with sub-millimeter accuracy. Intuitive Surgical's 'DaVinci' allows surgeons' movements to be scaled down, filtered and seamlessly translated to movements of the robot.

The Cyberknife

The Da Vinci Robot

Robotics can also allow procedures to be less invasive. One robot hailing from Carnegie Mellon University, aptly named the 'Heartlander', is essentially a worm-like device that is inserted via small incision below the ribcage, adheres to and crawls along the heart surface, is controlled via a joystick interface, and is used to place electrodes, ablate (destroy) tissue and inject drugs. Because general anesthesia is not required, this robot could enable heart surgery to be performed in an outpatient (out of the hospital) setting for the first time.

The Heartlander

In addition to hearing about these robotics systems, it was great to get my hands on some prototypes during the demo session and get face to face with some leaders in this exciting area of work.

Work, work, and work

For those of you out there that have been wondering what classes I've been taking, this post is for you. Hopefully it goes into a little bit of detail for the geeks reading this, yet does not bore you non-engineers to death.

Fall '09

In the interest of testing the waters of a new academic environment, I decided to take just a standard courseload (10 units) during my first quarter here. Although 'standard', I found myself really challenged and at times overwhelmed with the persistent onslaught of work. With due dates regularly falling on Wednesdays, all-nighter Tuesdays became the norm.

Molecular and Cellular Bioengineering (BIOE300A - 3 units) : This was a core requirement for our class of 20 students. It assumed a pretty solid background in molecular and cellular biology (which I didn't have), so I had to do a lot of catch up. What was unique and great about the class was that during weekly sections (tutorials), a pair of students would present to the class an analysis of a hot publication and direct a discussion. Some really challenging problem sets (assignments) got us using MATLAB and special software to understand how engineering tools can be used in biology, including designing nanostructures using DNA strands and determining what amino acid sequences minimize energies of protein structures.

Cardiovascular Bioengineering (BIOE284A - 3 units) : This course taught us how engineering principles such as computational fluid dynamics and traditional mechanics were applied to the cardiovascular system.

Orthopaedic Bioengineering (BIOE381 - 3 units) : We learned how engineering principles could be applied to the musculoskeletal system. Written critiques were done for 2-3 journal papers a week, which was a little tough.

Intro to Bioengineering Research (BIOE390 - 1 unit) : Bioengineering leverages so many fields to understand living systems and to engineer systems that enhance health. Each week, 2-hour seminars were given by different professors, which gave us a taste of many different areas in bioengineering.

Winter '10

I took 10 units in the first quarter. To keep the option of finishing my Master's (45 units) in three quarters open, I decided to up the ante and take 18 units this quarter. Sacrifices were made. Sleep was optional; caffeine was not.

Physiology and Tissue Engineering (BIOE300B - 3 units) : This course gave us a really comprehensive overview of the physiology and pathophysiology of the major organ systems and the role of engineering in diagnosis and treatment.

Molecular and Cellular Engineering Lab (BIOE301A - 2 units) : In this hands-on class, groups of students were taught wet lab techniques to perform an experiment involving microbe survival. Using microarray analysis, our group investigated the effects of ethanol concentration on gene expression of E.Coli.

Biodesign Innovation: Needs Finding and Concept Creation (BIOE374A - 4 units) : We learned methods of identifying a need in the medical setting, doing stakeholder and market analyses to better understand the need and establish need criteria, brainstorming solutions, selecting concepts, early prototyping and analyzing intellectual property. The need we set out to address was to develop an effective, non-invasive outpatient monitoring device and process to reduce rehospitalization rates of heart failure patients. At the end the quarter, our team pitched our ideas to some leaders in the med tech industry, to mixed success. This is a two-quarter course.

Intro to Neuroelectrical Engineering (EE124 - 3 units) : This course taught us neural physiology and statistical data analysis, and got us to design decoders that could interpret movement signals generated from the brain for the control of prosthetic devices such as artificial limbs.

Bioengineering Departmental Research Colloquium (BIOE393 - 1 unit) : This seminar series was a collection of presentations by students and faculty.

The Responsible Conduct of Research (MED255 - 1 unit) : This single-day workshop taught us how to approach ethical dilemmas that commonly arise in biomedical research.

Directed Investigation (BIOE392 - 4 units) : This was an independent research project, or 'rotation', I did in Associate Professor Charles Taylor's Cardiovascular Biomechanics Lab. Pairing up with a student from the Department of Biology, we used computational models of the pulmonary vessels of a young patient with Alagille syndrome (a condition in which pulmonary arteries can be stenosed, or constricted) to investigate changes in haemodynamics before and after surgical reconstruction. This was a simulations-heavy project, sharing some similarities with the heart mechanics project I worked on at Auckland before I got here. I am currently continuing work on this project.

Spring '10

This quarter's comparatively lighter courseload of 9 units gives me more time to explore other great things this place has to offer - seminars by notable guest speakers including Malcolm Gladwell, the German Chancellor, former Presidents and Nobel Laureates; conferences - Medical Robotics and Cardiovascular Technology; sporting, cultural and social activities held by groups and communities on campus; sights to see; good food.

Biodesign Innovation: Concept Development and Implementation (BIOE374B - 4 units) : Continuing on from last quarter, we are developing our lead concept. We expect to learn about the processes involved in getting our idea approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) and getting our solution reimbursed by medical insurance companies. Since each team is expected to write a business plan and pitch our plan to venture capitalists and company CEOs, both of which I have never done before, it will be interesting to see how things pan out.

Technology Entrepreneurship (ENGR145 - 4 units) : I decided to take this as an elective class, as a complement to the Biodesign Innovation class (above). This project-based class offers a broader perspective on the conception and growth of a technology-based enterprise.

Clinical Needs and Technology (BIOE301B - 1 unit) : We will be taking part in lab experiments involving ventricular assist devices, motion and gait analysis, vascular pathology, pulmonary function testing and surgical simulation. Hopefully I will get a chance to observe from start to finish, a 12-hour-long procedure in which a surgeon will perform an operation for a congenital heart defect.

A Whirlwind Tour

I believe that what one does outside of work is just as important, if not more so, than the work one does. Having said that, for some, there isn't necessarily a need to draw a distinction between work and life. I'll save descriptions of the classes I've taken and the research project I've been working on for a later post. I'm going to attempt to summarize some of what I've been up to so far outside the world of work.

During fall (autumn) quarter, the college football season was in full-swing, and I was treated with a bunch of home football games to go see. After a string of upset wins by the underdog Stanford football team against some top seeds in our division, we fell short when it came to the one that mattered -- the Big Game. This is the much talked about annual face-off between Stanford and Cal. One reason why there is so much hype surrounding this game is because of the final play of Big Game '82, perhaps the most memorable play in college football history (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfebpLfAt8g).

Stanford Band making an entrance pre-game in an uncharacteristically orderly fashion

In possession

Our de facto mascot, the Stanford Tree, on the right, accompanied by its cheerleaders, the Dollies

The Dish is the name of the foothills near Stanford campus, where I love to run. The trail has plenty of ups and downs, excellent for hill training. Upon reaching the summit, I am rewarded with magnificent views of the Bay Area. It is even possible to see a faint Golden Gate Bridge on a clear day.

Near the summit

A radio telescope once used for studying the atmosphere

Esther, a friend at UC Berkeley, and me (what was brown is now green)

I did some pumpkin carving in observance of Halloween:

The headless horseman

...visited the Canter Arts Center on campus:

...the birthplace of HP:

...Google headquarters:

...Koreatown in Sunnyvale:

...Palo Alto Baylands Preserve:

...McNee Ranch State Park overlooking Half Moon Bay:

Recently, a few classmates and I went hiking at Pinnacles National Monument, then snowshoeing at Sequoia National Park.

Spotted a rare Californian condor in the distance

Bioengineering classmates - Ying (left) and Joe (right)

Some awesome rock formations

The largest living organism in the world -- the General Sherman (Giant Sequoia tree)

Scaling an icy and slippery Moro Rock (children ask your parents first)

Some parts were a wee bit treacherous

We used a patch of snow as a chilly bin and each skulled a beer down at 7000 feet

Needing a solo shot

Heading back home, we drove into the sunset

My most recent trip, to New York City, was paid for by the Fulbright Program. Here, I participated in a 2010 Fulbright Enrichment Seminar entitled: Global Challenges, Local Solutions: Fostering Change Through Social Entrepreneurship. Over four days, together with fellow Fulbrighters representing 65 countries around the world, I was educated on the importance of social entrepreneurship in addressing pressing social problems prevalent in the world today. Here I met some truly amazing individuals -- future leaders and sources of inspiration in their respective fields.

Pablo (from Spain), Thomas (France), me (New Zealand), Dhilung (Nepal), Rona (Afghanistan)

Candid shot on the castle in Central Park (having had at best 5 mins sleep on the overnight flight, I may have almost dozed off here...)

Playing math games with kids at Shuang Wen School

On the Top of the Rock (Empire State Building on the left)

I wonder if anyone has coined a term describing a shot like this

Stanford 101

Stanford University is a private university located in Stanford, California, which is about an hour drive south of San Francisco. The university operates on a quarter system, and the academic year begins in mid-September.

The campus is massive - the second largest university campus in the world in terms of contiguous land area. Without my trusty bike (albeit a $50 cheap frame on wheels with one functional brake) I'd be hard-pressed to get to my classes on time.

The 'Stanford Duck Syndrome' refers to students exuding a bright, relaxed, carefree demeanor when in the company of others, while regularly burning the midnight oil when alone (ducks appear calm above water but require constant paddling to stay afloat). In other words, a casual conversation with a typical Stanford student will sound quite different to one with a run-of-the-mill Harvard student.

Quick facts about Stanford:

• Established in 1891 (very young relative to Ivy League schools)
• Has roughly a 50:50 split between grads and undergrads, totaling ~15,000 students
• Enjoys a bitter athletic rivalry with Cal (University of California, Berkeley)
• Was ranked #2 in 2009 in the Academic Ranking of World Universities, has one of the lowest admission rates in the US, and a top collegiate athletics program
• Nurtured alum that founded companies including Google, Yahoo, Hewlett-Packard

Other facts that might interest you:

• Official mascot is the Cardinal - not the bird, but the color (a vivid red)
• Unofficial mascot is a tree (without having to delve into its historical significance, you can tell that we got the short end of the stick when it came to mascots)
• Stanford's Marching Band is arguably the craziest and most controversial in the country
• Some more alumni: US President Herbert Hoover, Japanese Prime Minister Yukio Hatoyama, Tiger Woods, John McEnroe, Ryan Nelson, John Steinbeck, Reese Witherspoon, Jennifer Connelly, Sigourney Weaver, Tablo (from Epik High)

One of a bunch of photos taken of campus during a gorgeous day

The famed Palm Drive

A shot of Auguste Rodin's Les Bourgeois de Calais in the Main Quad

Outside Green Library, with Hoover Tower looming overhead

Courtyard of Clark Center - home of the Dept of Bioengineering

A little PR for what is now a global 'brand', courtesy of Sigourney Weaver in 'Avatar'

A Rekindling

Finally, I've committed. I have been meaning to share my thoughts and experiences as a graduate student here in the USA for a while now, but hadn't 'gotten around to it'. After a long enough time -- it's been over 6 months now -- adjusting to the lifestyle here at Stanford, I feel I finally should.

I intend this blog to be a means of sharing my experiences, be it work-related or travel-related. For family and friends back at home, posts of this nature will be most relevant to you. You might also find posts that are aligned with my personal and career interests -- innovative technologies in engineering and medicine, health and fitness, food, education, world affairs, human accomplishments, etc. Random but somewhat significant day-to-day observations, thoughts, musings, insights, inspirations and realizations may also stochastically find their place.

As it evolves, this blog may come to serve other purposes such as giving a pseudo-account of how my interests and perspectives on different facets of life change with time, among others.

So, enough babbling and onto some proper posts!